Johnny Galecki, regarding rumors about him being gay.
Wow.
I feel like Big Bang Theory got a little better now.
I get it—you’re a decent guy. I can even believe it. You’ve never raped anybody. You would NEVER rape anybody. You’re upset that all these feminists are trying to accuse you of doing something, or connect you to doing something, that, as far as you’re concerned, you’ve never done and would never…
I’ve been watching a lot of Star Trek lately. Just background, mostly, while I do work or something else… but then I come across this piece. This singular piece that makes me put down the pen and dance. Slowly. Gently. With my eyes closed, my hand in hers, my arm on her shoulder, we dance the first dance at the wedding reception, with everyone watching: her loved ones, mine.
I’ve known for more than half my life that I will have this song at my wedding. And because of that, to preserve its power for me, I rarely listen to it. Except that because it comes from a TV show, sometimes I just… stumble over it. And when I do, it’s magic.
I can see her in my eye: my wife. I don’t know what she looks like, how tall she is, or of course even who she is… but with my eyes closed, I see her smiling to me as we dance. Wordlessly, she tells me that she’s so happy to be my wife, and I cry tears of joy and pride to be hers.
To love like that, to be loved like that? That’s why I stopped being terribly interested in casual sexual relationships: because I want that kind of deep connection and intimacy. I don’t want to be married - to be Mrs. Someone Else - because my family wants it for me, or because I feel inadequate alone. I want to be married because I want to have that kind of connection with another person: someone by my side as I go through life, someone to share all my little joys and pains, and someone who will share theirs with me.
I don’t know who she is. Maybe I know her already, maybe she’s someone who drifted out of my life a quarter century ago. Maybe I’m going to meet her tomorrow. Maybe I hate her right now. Maybe, and I’m not quite ruling this out, the love of my life will turn out to not even be a she. I don’t know. The future’s funny that way.
What I do know is this: When we get married, whoever you are, we will play this song at our wedding, and we will dance to it. And when we do, that’s when it’ll be completely real to me. Knowing that lets me dream of the day that I’ll finally know that I have my life’s partner.
I probably should not post this since it does in no way apply to my life…. that’s fine.
From the files of “Signs that should be more common”
Inspired mainly by this post, which I recommend reading. Thanks Admiral for reblogging it, and complex-brown for the original content.
I was running through my sort-of terrible memory a while back, trying to remember seeing any people of color in the OWS coverage I’d watched so far. And not…
In response to: PV’s Playhouse – Women And Magic
I was initially very afraid of this article and what it would contain. When I talked with PV last, I told him:
“I think you are not going to approach it from the right way and will do more to harm the female image in the game—of course, it…
Even though this is an article that asks women who are active in Magic questions about the Magic community, I still have to disagree with anyone who thinks it’s a realistic, unfiltered portrayal of the plight of women in any male-dominated field. I also feel like there’s a lot of misinformation, or at least situations in which PV is asking questions his interviewees are unable to answer in a way that’s productive or helpful. For example, when he asks if women are naturally less competitive than men, the answers range from “I’m competitive” to “I guess it is so. This is determined by genes, social stereotypes and other factors.”
These are honest answers, especially the ones that have more to do with “I” than “women”, and I think that’s fantastic. The problem arises because now we have a woman agreeing, in a sense, with a rather offensive “genetic” argument that it is made all the fucking time in any competitive activity in which women do not participate in large numbers. The question feels rigged from the start, and whether that was intentional or not is irrelevant because the question itself is irrelevant, and worse, harmful. A group of underrepresented people are beginning to play a competitive game more, and a dialog has been opened up in the community about how they are treated. Why in the flying, literal fuck are we making philosorapter poses and asking ourselves if they’re genetically incapable of competing? If you’re ever tempted to ask this question, stop. This is pseudo-science.
Another massive, glaring red flag for me comes when PV ponders on the potentially uncomfortable environment women might encounter when attending a Magic event. He doesn’t bring up hostility toward women (or misogyny in any real form), and instead starts with a silly image of an ocean of fat, unwashed nerds valiantly flirting with women like they’re role-playing as overweight knights of yore. This is not only totally contrary to the reality of what these events can often be like, it is also not the problem.
On the other hand, I do occasionally get obscene messages at Facebook, Twitter and at other social networks and chess websites, or see some vulgar remarks connected with my looks.
This is the goddam problem, and it’s largely ignored. The way the question is set up and presented just fucking reeks of entitlement and objectification, because it is immediately implying that women will be flirted with and asks them how they feel about it. It’s an extension of the “women are down to fuck or they are bitches” mentality that drives me so goddam insane.
Oh god and this quote from PV made me puke in my mouth a little bit.
In intelligence and practice, men and women are on equal footing. When it comes to talent, though, I believe that the areas that are usually associated with the male brain (math, spatial understanding) are more likely to generate skills that will reflect in a better Magic talent than the areas women usually have better developed (emotions, languages, speech). What this means is basically that I think it is easier for a man to be born with magic talent than for a woman.
Oh?
Ok, look, PV is cute and charming and smart and great at Magic. He is, in short, a person who I have always liked - not just as a public figure, but as a person who is capable of presenting esoteric interactions within a complicated game in a way that is clear, concise, and insightful. But this shit? It’s so incredibly bogus, and coming from someone you respect it’s just heart-breaking.
Evolutionary psychology, and by extension the idea that “women are good at feelings and men are good at maths”, has not been a legitimate scientific standpoint in a very long time. It is not real. It is, and always has been, a reason to separate people and explain away social structures and their negative impact.
This guy. What he said. In spades.
A Modern Sexual-Assault Tale
Man: Hello, I'd like to report a mugging.
Officer: A mugging, eh? Where did it take place?
Man: I was walking by 21st and Dundritch Street and a man pulled out a gun and said, "Give me all your money."
Officer: And did you?
Man: Yes, I co-operated.
Officer: So you willingly gave the man your money without fighting back, calling for help or trying to escape?
Man: Well, yes, but I was terrified. I thought he was going to kill me!
Officer: Mmm. But you did co-operate with him. And I've been informed that you're quite a philanthropist, too.
Man: I give to charity, yes.
Officer: So you like to give money away. You make a habit of giving money away.
Man: What does that have to do with this situation?
Officer: You knowingly walked down Dundritch Street in your suit when everyone knows you like to give away money, and then you didn't fight back. It sounds like you gave money to someone, but now you're having after-donation regret. Tell me, do you really want to ruin his life because of your mistake?
Man: This is ridiculous!
Officer: This is a rape analogy. This is what women face every single day when they try to bring their rapists to justice.
Man: Fuck the patriarchy.
Officer: Word.
